It’s a fact of life in our world today: Conflict, like taxes, is inevitable. This isn’t all bad. Naturally people are going to have differing points of view. Sometimes conflict and the resolution that comes from it, can result in a closer bond between two people or more complete understanding of a situation by a group.


Conflict may arise over small issues or major problems. And sometimes, because of the way individuals handle conflict, those small issues are transformed into Major Problems.

The bullies of the world seem to enjoy conflict, coming at it head long, They’re aggressive on the freeway, surly to service people and argumentative with co-workers. Other people avoid conflict at all costs, never speaking up for themselves, always backing down. They are the doormat everyone walks upon.

man sitting under a tree

 A person’s approach to conflict resolution can make life easier or tougher for them. Take a look at the following questions to find out how you respond in conflict situations.


1. When confronted by an angry or hostile person, I take a moment and consider my response, rather than reacting in kind or defensively.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

2. When conflict occurs, I clam up and become non-communicative, quiet and passive, hoping it will dissipate.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

3. I try to see my part in the situation and am willing to take responsibility for it instead of blaming others or denying any responsibility.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

4. Whenever conflict rises, I get sick. The bigger the conflict, the more drastic my symptoms become.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

5. During a conflict, I stay with the issue at hand rather than bringing up the past or changing the subject.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

6. I’m open to exploring different options for resolution instead of insisting on having my way. I listen to what others say with an open mind.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

7. I pay attention to what’s being said behind the words spoken which might have nothing to do with the issue at hand. I ask for clarification when I don’t understand something.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

8. I try to avoid conflict by saying there’s no problem or that nothing’s wrong when asked. I downplay even small problems.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

9. I establish boundaries during conflicts and don’t allow anyone to verbally or physically abuse me.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

10. When a resolution can’t be reached by those involved, and “agreeing to disagree” isn’t an acceptable solution, I’m willing to consult with someone from neutral territory to help resolve the situation.
__Always         __ Often           __Sometimes  __Never

After reading and choosing your answers take a few moments to evaluate your answers.  How do you feel about your answers?  Do you feel that you handle conflict as well as you can?  If you aren’t happy with your answers, it might be time to talk with someone about how to improve your ability to handle conflict.


Rayna NeisesRayna Neises understands the joys and challenges that come from a season of caring. She helped care for both of her parents during their separate battles with Alzheimer’s over a thirty-year span. She is able to look back on those days now with no regrets – and she wishes the same for every woman caring for aging parents.

To help others through this challenging season of life, Rayna has written No Regrets: Hope for Your Caregiving Season, a book filled with her own heart-warming stories and practical suggestions for journeying through a caregiving season. Rayna is an ICF Associate Certified Coach with certifications in both Life and Leadership Coaching from the Professional Christian Coaching Institute.

She is prepared to help you through your own season of caring. Learn more at and connect with Rayna on FacebookLinkedIn, and Instagram.

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