Welcome And Why Faith Gets Personal

0:03 Welcome to A Season of Caring Podcast, where we share stories of hope for family caregivers, helping you to see God in the midst of your caregiving season. I’m Rayna Neises, your host, and today we’re gonna talk about faith and how deeply personal it is, and how it is impacted by caregiving. Something that many caregivers experience but may not always have the words to describe. I wanna talk about how caregiving changed my faith. Not in the simple, neat, easy to explain kind of way. Not in a way where everything suddenly made sense, or every question got an answer. But in the kind of way that happens slowly, over time, through long days, sleepless nights, hard decisions, quiet tears, and moments when you realize you’re being carried by God because you do not have the strength to carry yourself. Caregiving has a way of stripping away all of those easy answers, doesn’t it? It has a way of taking faith out of the realm of theory and placing it right in the middle of real life. You know, those doctor’s appointments, the medication, the repeated questions, personality changes, the grief of watching someone that you love slowly become someone different. There’s exhaustion of being needed again, and again, and again. And somewhere in all of that, faith either becomes deeper or becomes something that we have to wrestle with. And maybe both. Before caregiving, I knew. I mean, I was only 16 when it first started, when my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and I knew God. I knew that the Lord was faithful in the way that a 16-year-old would know that He was faithful. I could point to the Bible verses about His faithfulness, I knew the stories, and I heard the sermons. I had sung all the songs. But through that journey of really struggling with the answered prayer of no, with my mom’s lack of ability to talk, and then moving into caring for my dad through Alzheimer’s, I didn’t just believe God was faithful in an abstract way, I experienced His faithfulness. I experienced it in the middle of exhaustion. I experienced it in the uncertainty that felt like was every day. I experienced it in the grief On the days when I did not know how I was going to keep going. I experienced it when there was no easy answer, no quick fix, and no clear timeline for how long this season would last. Maybe you know exactly what I’m talking about. Maybe caregiving has changed your faith, too. Maybe it’s strengthened it. Maybe it’s just challenged it. Maybe you’ve left it sitting there ’cause you didn’t really know what to do with it. It might have done all of these things to you at the very same time. So today, I wanna talk about five ways that caregiving changes our faith. And my prayer is that we, as we talk through these, you will feel seen, encouraged, and reminded that God is with you in this caregiving season, even in the parts that feel heavy, holy, confusing, and just plain hard.

Faith Moves From Theory To Real

3:57 All right, the first way caregiving changes our faith is it moves faith from theory to reality. Many of us know Bible verses about trusting God. We might even have memorized them. We know Proverbs 3:5-6, which says, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” That verse has so much truth in it. It sounds beautiful, and it’s really easy to quote when life feels manageable. But caregiving gives us daily opportunities to actually live it out. Because caregiving often puts us in the situation where we do not understand. We do not understand why this disease is happening or why our loved one has to suffer. We don’t understand why the person who cared for us now needs us to care for them. We don’t understand why the decline happened the way that it does, or why some prayers seem to go unanswered. And yet, right there, not in the understanding, God invites us to trust Him. Gosh, it is not easy. And I think sometimes we talk about trust as if it’s just this soft, peaceful, effortless thing. But in caregiving, trust can feel like a choice, and we have to make it with tears in our eyes sometimes. Trust, it can sound like, “Lord, I don’t understand this, but I believe you are still good.” Or it can sound like, “Lord, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I believe you will meet me there.” Or maybe, “Lord, I don’t have the strength for this, but I trust that you will give me what I need for today.” Caregiving teaches us that faith is not about agreeing with truth. Faith is leaning on truth when life is hard. It is one thing to say, “God will provide.” It’s another thing to sit at the kitchen table with bills, paperwork, medical forms, insurance forms, and care decisions in front of you and say, “God, I need you to provide.” It’s one thing to say, “God gives peace.” It’s another thing to sit in a hospital room or a nursing home or beside the bed of someone that you love and whisper, “God, I need your peace right now.” It’s one thing to say, “God is with us.” It is another thing to feel completely alone in the responsibilities of caregiving and still believe that somehow, in ways that you cannot always see or feel, He has not left you. Caregiving takes faith out of the pages of the Bible and places it into those details of your everyday life, and that is when and where our faith becomes real. Not perfect, not polished, but real. For me, there are so many moments in my caregiving journey, both with my mom and my dad, where I had stopped trying to figure everything out because I just couldn’t. Alzheimer’s, it doesn’t give you a clear roadmap. It does not unfold in a predictable way. And just when you think you’ve adjusted to one stage, something changes. And so trust became less about understanding and more about surrender. That was not always comfortable, but it was holy because I began to learn that trusting God does not mean I have all the answers. It means

When Prayer Becomes A Whisper

8:10 I know the one who does The second way caregiving changes our faith is that it changes how we pray. Maybe before caregiving, your prayers were longer. Maybe they were more polished or more organized, or maybe you had the energy to sit quietly with your Bible, journal your thoughts, and pray through a list. Those are so beautiful, and they’re all practices that are just powerful. But caregiving, it can change the rhythm of your spiritual life, and that’s okay. Sometimes caregiving prayers are not long. Sometimes they are barely sentences. Maybe they’re even just a whisper in the hallway or a prayer in the car. Sometimes they are cried in the shower because it’s the only private place that you have. Sometimes they come out as just, “Help me. Lord, give me patience. Show me what to do next. Please calm my heart. Help my dad. Carry me through today. God, I can’t do this without you.” And friend, all of those prayers count. They all matter. They are holy. Caregiving taught me that prayer is not powerful because of how eloquent I am or how well I remember all of the needs. Prayer is powerful because of who God is. Romans 8:26 reminds us, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Holy Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” I love that phrase, wordless groans. I’ve had them. Haven’t you? Sometimes caregiving just leaves us without words. We’re too tired to explain, the grief is too deep, and sometimes the situation is too complicated. We don’t even know what to ask God for healing, strength, relief wisdom, patience, a miracle, acceptance, all of the above. And when we do not know how to pray, Scripture tells us that the Spirit helps us. That means God is not waiting for you to get your prayer just right before He listens. He’s not grading your words, and He’s not measuring the length of your prayers. He is not disappointed when all you can say is, “Lord, help me.” In fact, I believe some of the most honest prayers that we ever pray are those short ones. Peter prayed one of the shortest prayers in the Bible when he said with sinking breath, because the waves were about to overtake him, he said, “Lord, save me.” And Jesus reached out and got him. Sometimes that’s caregiving. You feel like you’re sinking beneath the weight of responsibility or exhaustion, and all you can say is, “Lord, save me. Lord, steady me. Lord, hold me.” And He does, usually not by removing the situation or even by changing everything immediately, but by being present with you. Caregiving teaches us that desperate prayers are not weak prayers. They are dependent prayers. They’re honest prayers. They are prayers that rise from the deepest part of us to the heart of a God who hears. So if your prayer life looks different in this season, give yourself grace. If you’re not praying the way that you used to pray, that doesn’t mean you have failed spiritually. It means God is teaching you a new kind of prayer A simple prayer, an honest prayer, a prayer that comes from need, not performance. And God, oh, He hears every word, even the ones that you cannot say.

The Questions That Reveal Belief

12:43 The third way caregiving changes our faith is that it reveals what we really believe. Hard seasons, they just have a way of exposing our assumptions. It’s easy to believe certain things about God when life feels steady, but caregiving can bring questions to the surface that we may have never had to wrestle with before. Questions like, is God still good when healing doesn’t come? Is God still present when I feel so alone? Is God still working when things seem to be getting worse? Is God still faithful when my loved one does not get better? Is God enough when I have nothing left? Those are not small questions. They’re weighty ones. And I wanna say this gently, but really clearly. Having those questions, it does not mean that your faith is weak. It means that your faith is alive. A faith that never asks questions may not have been tested yet, but caregiving, it tests us. It stretches us. It brings us to places where easy answers don’t hold up anymore. And when that happens, we may feel guilty. We may think, “I shouldn’t be asking this. I shouldn’t feel this way. I should have more faith.” Gosh, those shoulds, they get us in trouble every time. When I read scripture, I see people of faith bringing their honest questions to God. David, did this in the Psalms all over. Psalm 13 begins with these words: “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” That’s the Bible. That’s David talking to the Lord. That kind of honesty, it is part of scripture. David did not pretend that everything was fine. He did not hide his confusion. He did not sanitize his pain before bringing it to God. He asked, “How long?” I think any caregiver that’s been caring a long time has had that question. How long will this season last? How long will my loved one suffer? How long can I keep going at this pace? How long will I feel this tired? How long will I carry this grief? How long, Lord? And here’s the good news God’s not threatened by your questions. He’s not intimidated by your honesty, and He does not turn away from us when we bring Him our confessions, our sadness, our frustration, even our fears. In fact, honest questions can become invitations to deeper faith. Because when we bring real questions to God, we bring our real selves to Him. Not the polished version, not the church version, not the version that says, “I’m fine,” when we’re not fine at all. The real version, the tired version, the grieving heart, the stretched thin girl, or the one that says, “God, I believe, but help my unbelief.” Caregiving reveals things. Caregiving revealed things in me that I might not have seen otherwise. It revealed where I want to control. It revealed where I equated God’s goodness with my circumstances improving. It revealed where I wanted clear answers more than I wanted deeper trust. That’s not easy to admit, but it is part of spiritual growth. Sometimes caregiving shows us the places where our faith has been built on comfort, predictability, or outcomes, and then God lovingly invites us to build our faith on Him instead. Not on what we can control, not on what we understand, and not on everything getting better, but on His character, His presence, His faithfulness, His grace. That kind of faith, it is not shallow. It has roots, and roots often grow deepest in hard soil.

Learning Dependence And Daily Grace

17:15 All right, the fourth way that caregiving changes our faith is it teaches us dependence. Most caregivers eventually reach that point where they realize, “I cannot do this on my own.” And friend, if you have reached that point, I want you to hear me. It is not failure. It is not weakness in the way that the world defines weakness. That may actually be the beginning of a deeper spiritual growth because caregiving has a way of bringing us to the end of ourselves. We run out of energy and patience and solutions. We run out of emotional capacity and the illusion that we can hold everything together by our own strength. And when we get there, It can feel really frightening. It can also become sacred because that is often where we begin to experience the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9, where the Lord says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Not my strength, not my confidence, not your ability to manage everything beautifully, but in weakness. That is so different from what the world tells us. The world tells us to be strong and independent and capable and efficient and in control. But caregiving, ooh, it humbles us, doesn’t it? It reminds us that we’re just human and we have limits. We have to have rest, and we need help, and we need community, and most of all, we need God. And admitting that need is not a lack of faith It is an act of faith. I think sometimes caregivers feel pressure to be endlessly strong. We think we should be able to handle everything. We think love means never getting tired, never getting frustrated, and never needing a break. But that is so not true. Even Jesus rested. Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds. Even Jesus accepted help and companionship. So why do we think that we’re supposed to do this alone? Dependence on God also teaches us to receive help from others. Sometimes God’s provision looks like a friend who brings a meal, a sibling who steps in to carry the load, a church member who visits, a nurse who offers kindness, or that neighbor that checks in, a support group that understands, a moment of respite you desperately needed. We miss God’s care for us when we believe we have to be the only one carrying the load. One of the lessons taught me is that God’s strength does not always look like a sudden burst of energy. Sometimes God’s strength looks like enough grace for the next hour, enough patience for the next conversation, and enough wisdom for the next decision, or even enough peace to sleep tonight. Or even just enough endurance to get through the day. Not always enough for the next five years, not enough for the next whole journey, but enough for today. And maybe that’s why Jesus taught us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Daily. Not yearly, not weekly, not a lifetime, daily. Caregiving often teaches us to live on daily grace. And while it can be completely uncomfortable, it also draws us near to God in ways self-sufficiency never could. Weakness often becomes the doorway to experiencing God’s strength. If caregiving has brought you to the end of yourself, that doesn’t mean God is absent. That means He is inviting you to lean more fully into Him.

Costly Love That Keeps Showing Up

21:19 All right, the fifth way caregiving changes our faith is it expands our understanding of love. Caregiving gives us a glimpse, even if imperfectly, of the kinds of love God shows us. A love that is patient, a love that sacrifices, a love that keeps showing up. One that serves and gives without always receiving the same thing in return. A love that remains present in weakness and even chooses compassion again and again and again. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” We often hear that passage at weddings, and it’s beautiful. But caregivers understand that passage in a deeply personal way because caregiving gives us daily opportunities to practice patient love. Not romanticized love, not easy love. Not love that always feels warm and rewarding, but costly love. Love when you’re tired, when the same question has been asked 10 times, when your loved one is confused, when they cannot say thank you. Love when they do not remember what you did for them, when the person you are caring for has changed, but your commitment has remained the same. That kind of love teaches us something about God because God loves us when we are weak. He loves us when we’re confused, when we repeat the same mistakes. He loves us when we cannot give anything back. He loves us when we are dependent. He loves us when we are not at our best. Caregiving can be one of the hardest schools of love, but let me be clear, none of us love perfectly. Caregivers lose patience. They get frustrated. They need breaks. Caregivers have moments when they wish they could redo something. That doesn’t mean that you do not love well. It means that you are human. And the best thing is that caregiving teaches us to love, it also teaches us how deeply God loves us. We do not manufacture this kind of love on our own. We receive it from God and then reflect it, even imperfectly, to the person in front of us. I think that is one of the things that just stood out to me the most, was I couldn’t love enough without the Lord giving me that love and letting it flow all the way through me, reflect off of me to my dad. The love we offer reflects the love that we receive, and sometimes that reflection happens in ordinary, unseen moments. Changing sheets, making meals, driving to appointments, just sitting quietly, holding a hand, or advocating with doctors, choosing tenderness when you are exhausted, praying beside a bed. Those moments, they may not look big to the world, but they matter to God. They are acts of love. They are holy offerings, and over time, they reshape us. Caregiving may stretch your love farther than you thought it could go, but in that stretching, we begin to understand more deeply the patient, merciful, enduring love of God. So what I know for sure now, friends, is caregiving changed my faith. It did not make everything easier, it did not answer every question, ugh, and it did not remove the grief. It did not make Alzheimer’s less painful, but it showed me that God is faithful in ways I never would have discovered if the road had been smooth. I learned that God’s presence is not limited to peaceful places. His presence is in hospital rooms and in hard conversations. His presence is in the quiet grief of watching someone you love change. He is present in the exhaustion, in the uncertainty. He is present when you are praying beautiful prayers, and he is present when all you can say is, “Help me.” I learned that faith is not always loud. Sometimes faith is simply getting up and doing the next right thing with God’s help. Sometimes faith is choosing to believe God is good even when the situation is not. It’s surrendering the illusion of control. Sometimes faith is crying in the car and then walking back inside because love calls you to keep going. Sometimes faith says, “Lord, I trust you,” even when your heart is breaking. The Lord who walked with me through my dad and mom’s Alzheimer’s journeys is the same God who walks with you today. He has not forgotten you. He has not abandoned you. He sees the care that you give that no one else sees. He hears the prayers that you barely have strength to pray. He knows the weight that you are carrying, and He is faithful. Not always in the ways we expect, not always on the timeline that we would choose, but always in accordance with His character, always enough. I

Reflection Questions For Your Season

27:10 I  have a few reflection questions for you today. As you think about your own caregiving season, I want to leave you with just these few reflection questions. You may want to write them down or pray through them or just simply sit with them this week. How has caregiving changed your relationship with God? Has it made you more dependent on Him? Has it brought up questions? Has it deepened your prayer life? Has it revealed places where you are still learning to trust? What have you learned from God’s character through this season? Maybe you’ve learned that He is patient. Maybe you’ve learned that He provides or He’s near the brokenhearted. Maybe you’re still looking for what you’re learning. And lastly, where is God inviting you to trust Him today? Not next year, not for the entire season, but just today. Is there a decision that you need to entrust to Him? A fear you need to release? A burden you need to stop carrying alone? I hope that you will just sit and look at some of these questions and think about how your prayers can be more honest and deep and real, and maybe that your faith will look different as you walk through this journey. if caregiving has left you with questions, you are not alone. If it’s stretched your faith, you’re not alone. If it’s brought you to tears, oh, we’re all right there with you. And if it has made you pray prayers that are short, desperate, and honest, you are not alone. And if you’re discovering a deeper dependence on God than you have ever known before, that is because caregiving isn’t easy. It’s because God is meeting you in the hard, and sometimes the greatest growth in your faith happens in seasons you never would have chosen. That doesn’t make the season easy. It does not mean we pretend that the grief is not real. It does not mean that we minimize the exhaustion. It simply means that even here, God is at work. Even here, He is near. Even here, He is forming something in us. He is faithful. So today, take a deep breath. You don’t have to have everything figured out. You do not have to pray perfectly, and you do not have to understand the whole road ahead. You are allowed to be human, you are allowed to need help, and you are allowed to bring your questions to God. You are invited to trust that the same God who has carried you this far will carry you through today, one day at a time, one prayer at a time, one act of love at a time. He is your caregiver, and He is faithful.

Encouragement And Closing Invitation

30:11 Thank you for spending this time with me today. If this episode encouraged you, I hope you’ll share it with another caregiver who may need to be reminded that their faith does not have to look perfect to be real. I encourage you to take one of those reflection questions and sit with it. Journal, pray through it, talk about it with someone you trust, because your caregiving season matters, your faith journey matters, and Jesus is present. Until next time, remember, you are not walking this season alone Thank you for joining me today for a Season of Caring Podcast where there is hope and living content, loving well, and caring without regrets. If you have medical, legal, or financial questions, be sure to contact your local professionals Until next time, take heart in your season of caring.