Life in the Middle: Lessons from a Sandwiched Season

There’s a unique kind of stretching that comes with being a sandwiched caregiver.

You’re meeting the emotional and physical needs of your aging parent while still parenting your children—or sometimes even helping with grandkids. You’re constantly switching roles: nurse, chauffeur, comforter, disciplinarian, advocate, encourager. You might go from managing medications in the morning to math homework in the afternoon. From calming an aging loved one at night to waking early for school drop-off.

And all of it is done with a heart that’s full… and also just plain tired.

When I was caring for my dad, I had a high schooler at home. But it was my sister who was more deeply in the middle of the sandwich. Her kids were younger—full of energy and needs of their own. She was still in the thick of carpools and sports practice and laundry piles. And on top of it all, she was showing up for our dad day after day.

What stands out most to me from that time is not just her strength, but the unexpected helpers who emerged.

One of those helpers was Robin’s daughter, my niece.

She didn’t have any formal training. She didn’t always know the right words to say. But what she did have was a heart wide open. I watched her sit beside her grandpa, helping him work his jigsaw puzzles or offering a snack, creating a connection across generations that no to-do list could orchestrate.

Caregiving in the middle can feel chaotic. But in those small moments—when generations come together in compassion and presence—we catch a glimpse of something sacred.

Grace in the Gaps

One of the hardest parts of this season is feeling like you’re always letting someone down. You’re missing your child’s performance because your parent needs urgent care. You’re canceling a long-awaited lunch with your mom because your toddler is sick. You’re never quite fully “off” in either role.

But here’s the truth: God’s grace fills the gaps.

You don’t have to be all things to all people. You simply have to be faithful in the moment you’re in. Even when your caregiving feels imperfect or your attention feels divided, you are showing up in love—and that counts more than you know.

Lessons the Middle Has Taught Me

Here are a few truths I’ve learned from watching my sister and walking this path myself:

• Presence matters more than perfection. You don’t need the perfect words or plan. Just being with someone is often enough.

• Kids can rise to the occasion. Involving children in age-appropriate ways not only eases your load, it teaches them empathy and family responsibility.

• Small rituals create big connection. A shared cup of tea. A short bedtime prayer. A silly story you all know by heart. These are the anchors in the storm.

• You need care too. When you’re giving to everyone else, you must let others pour back into you. Say yes to help. Seek community. Rest without guilt.

You’re Not Alone in This

If you’re in the middle right now—sandwiched between the generations—you’re not forgotten. God sees the sacrifices you make, even the ones no one else notices. He knows the weight you carry. And He promises to carry you.

Isaiah 46:4 reminds us:
“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you.”

Whether you’re driving your child to youth group or sitting beside your mom in a waiting room, God is with you in both. You are not stretched too thin for Him. You are right where He has placed you, and His strength is more than enough for every role you’ve been asked to play.

💬 Reflection Question:

Where in your caregiving “sandwich” have you seen God show up—maybe through your kids, a neighbor’s kindness, or a quiet moment of peace?

Rayna Neises understands the joys and challenges that come from a season of caring. She helped care for both of her parents during their separate battles with Alzheimer’s over a thirty-year span. She is able to look back on those days now with no regrets – and she wishes the same for every woman caring for aging parents.

To help others through this challenging season of life, Rayna has written No Regrets: Hope for Your Caregiving Season, a book filled with her own heart-warming stories and practical suggestions for journeying through a caregiving season. She is also the author of Hope for a Caring Heart Journal- a 90 day journey of prayer, reflection and gratitude. Rayna is an ICF Associate Certified Coach with certifications in both Life and Leadership Coaching from the Professional Christian Coaching Institute.

She is prepared to help you through your own season of caring. Learn more at ASeasonOfCaring.com and connect with Rayna on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

Read other articles by Rayna