Are you sending kids off to college or even school?  Me too.
Is your schedule changing?  Adjusting to a new job or even a new role in your work?  Me too.
Are you handling these things with grace and love?  Yeah, me neither.

The funny thing is I know God is right in the middle of all the change.  Kids grow up and make their own life, that’s the goal.  Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s is hard and there will be change.

As I found myself feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, I had to stop and dig into my feelings and see what the root was.

Often when I’m struggling with life I struggle with God.  I find myself feeling unloved by God, but I know that is not true.

We all know that in I Corinthians 13 God defines love for us and it does not say love is being in control.  Nor does the Bible say God loves me more when I get my way then He does when I don’t.

Gavin is heading off to college and we are empty nesters.  That is the next season of life.  I can’t make everything go a certain way for Gavin or even make decisions for him.  I just have to trust and pray.

We hired a whole new set of caregivers for dad.  My sister, aunt and I are starting to step back some in being as hands on with his care as we have been.  It’s hard to do.  We love him.  We want to control everything around him and make his life as good as possible.

As I said those things to God, He answered me, “But Rayna, I love him more than you do! I love him more than anyone else does! I know everything and I can control everything that’s happening.  Trust me to take care of your daddy!”

Why is that so hard to do?  Why is it so hard to trust God?  Because my definition of Love is wrong!  I want love to look a certain way.   I want things in my Dad’s life and in my life to look a certain way.

But the more I hold on to my wrong definition of love and a false sense of control, then the harder it is to trust God’s love.

Not to mention the truth that God is in control of what happens in this world.

I don’t know how things are going to go with stepping back to just two weekends a month and not having a family member in the home every day, but I know my God is big and I know my God loves my Daddy more than even I do.  So, I must trust in that!

One thing I have done to reset my mind to the truth of who God is and the love He has for me and my family is read His word with this need in mind.  Since my chat with God I have found comfort in these scriptures.

“What is man, that you are mindful of him,
or the son of man, that you care for him?
You made him for a little while lower than the angels;
you have crowned him with glory and honor,
putting everything in subjection under his feet.”

Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him.

Hebrews 2:6-9


Blessed are you, God of Israel, our father
from of old and forever.
To you, O God, belong the greatness and the might,
the glory, the victory, the majesty, the splendor;
Yes! Everything in heaven, everything on earth;
the kingdom all yours! You’ve raised yourself high over all.
Riches and glory come from you,
you’re ruler over all;
You hold strength and power in the palm of your hand
to build up and strengthen all.
And here we are, O God, our God, giving thanks to you,
praising your splendid Name.

1 Chronicles 29:11-13 (MSG)

When I am afraid,
I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?

Psalm 56:3-4


What are you struggling with controlling?  Are you holding on to a definition of Love that is hurting your understanding of God?

If you feel stuck and would like to see if coaching could help I would love to talk with you.  Just reach out! 

What ways have you found to handle change? 

Thanks for sharing your answer below.

Rayna Neises: A Season of Caring