Rayna Neises: [00:00:00] Welcome to a Season of Caring Podcast where we share stories of hope for family caregivers breaking through the busyness and loneliness of caregiving to find God even in this season. I’m Rayna Neises, your host, and I’m so glad that you are here today. You’re going to notice that it’s just my voice that you are hearing.

That’s because I’m still looking for podcast guests who will share their story of hopein their caregiving. Even if you’re still caregiving, I would love to be able to talk with you about how God has shown up for you in your season. All you have to do is reach out to me at my email at Rayna@aseasonofcaring.com.

I would love to talk to you about sharing your story on the podcast. All right, so today with just little old me, let’s start talking about the subject that I really thought would be helpful to you. We’re talking about something that I hear so many caregivers talk about during this caregiving season, and that is guilt.

To be honest with you, I really didn’t struggle with guilt a lot during my season of caring for my dad. Or even in general life. I’m just one of those things that I think I have a little different perspective on, and I hope that today I can give you an insight into that to help you with caregiver guilt and any other guilt that you might be experiencing.

So as I’ve listened to so many caregivers over the years, guilt, it really does come up again and again. It can feel like a constant shadow. Maybe the second guessing of every choice you make, or whispering that you’re not enough or even making you feel ashamed of needing to rest or take a break. Guilt. It’s not pretty.

So even though guilt wasn’t my personal burden, I wanna spend this episode speaking to it because I know it can weigh very heavy on you. And I want to remind you of something important. Faith and guilt. They really don’t go together.

So let’s rewind a little bit here. Let’s talk a little bit about the different kinds of guilt that might be creeping up for you in your caregiving.

I’m not doing enough. Hmm. Definitely guilt. Probably not true, really. In fact, I think if you were the one who’s having that thought, odds are good. It’s not true. Only those that are kind of carrying through life, not paying a whole lot of attention, or probably walking by things that are needs and not paying attention to them.

So really challenge it. You are doing enough. As long as you are doing your best and you’re asking for the help that you need. You’re doing enough. I lost my patience again. Guilt. Okay, I, I’m gonna say I definitely lost my patience in caring for my dad. The thing is, I didn’t allow it to go to guilt because as soon as it happened, I knew I was wrong and I confessed that.

And I, whether ask him to forgive me for that, ask the Lord to forgive me for that. But really, patience is tough. Things are difficult, especially when you’re in that pressure cooker. Just know there’s always forgiveness, confess and ask for it.

Another guilt that you might be experiencing is I should be able to do more, but I just can’t.

Guilt. Gosh, those shoulds, they get us in trouble every time. Anytime you’re saying I should, should, should, should. You probably need to step back and really pay attention to that, because I’m not sure who’s putting that on you. I know for myself, when the shoulds kick in, it’s usually just me.

Everybody else is looking at all that I’m doing and saying, how are you doing it all? So make sure that you’re really paying close attention to what you think you should do.

I want a break and that makes me selfish. Guilt, ugh, not true either. There’s no reason why a break should equal selfishness. All of us need a break from time to time, caregiving or not. Definitely while you’re caregiving, you need those breaks.

So do any of those sound familiar? Guilt. It has a way of just creeping in there when you’re already exhausted, especially. It takes the little cracks of our hearts and tries to wedge them wide open and it really can bring us down. So here’s the truth that I want you to lean into today. Faith. and guilt. They don’t belong together.

Romans eight one tells us there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. That means if you belong to Jesus, you are free from shame. You are free from condemnation and you are free from guilt.

Psalm 1 0 3 says As far as the east is from the west. So far has He removed our transgressions from us now? Yes. God sometimes uses conviction. Actually he does. He convicts us of our sins, right? But conviction and guilt are not the same thing. Conviction draws us closer to God and points us to growth and change guilt. On the other hand, it just keeps us stuck in shame. So here’s a reflection question I want you to ask yourself.

Especially when you feel guilty, does this thought bring me closer to God’s love or push me farther away? If it pushes you further away, it’s not from Him. So stop and really take the thought captive, and be sure that you are identifying how it’s impacting you.

So let’s think about seasons. Since we’re getting ready to come into the fall and where I live, the leaves are just starting to have a little color change. I thought it might be good to put it in this perspective. Fall reminds us that leaves have to drop. They cannot clinging on forever. In some ways, guilt is the same way. It needs to be let go. It just needs to fall away.

Caregiving itself has seasons. Seasons of intensity, seasons of waiting and seasons of loss. In each season, God gives grace for what’s in front of you. For where you are right now. Don’t spend too much time looking ahead and borrowing trouble. Focus on here. This is where the grace is.

So to experience this practically, I created a brand new free resource for you. It’s a three part Fall Seasonal Rest Rhythm Mini Audio Series. That’s long, isn’t it? Let me tell you about each one of the audios that are just short and simple in this, mini audio series.

So the first one is Stillness Breath. It’s a guided practice to help you pause and breathe when your day feels overwhelming.

The second one is warmth pause. It’s a cozy invitation to rest in the middle of your season to be reminded that you don’t have to keep pushing without a break.

And the third one is harvest Gratitude, a gentle rhythm to help you notice and name God’s goodness, even in the hard places.

These are three simple audio pauses for you to take with you wherever you are. Reminders that you are more than the guilt that you carry, and that God’s presence brings peace. Even in this season, you’ll find the link to this free mini series in the show notes page at www.aseasonofcaring.com/fallrest

Now, why does this matter? Here’s why it’s important.

Guilt keeps you from joy. It keeps you from seeing yourself the way that God sees you, and it steals the very energy that you need for your caregiving. God didn’t place you in this season to condemn you. He placed you here to love you through it and to love you right in the middle of it. Caregiving will stretch you, that is for sure, but it would, it should never crush you under guilt.

So today as we are looking at guilt and caregiving and all of these things, let’s recap what we’ve learned. There are many forms of caregiver guilt and the truth that faith and guilt really don’t belong together.

Remember, when you are feeling guilt, give them over to the Lord and ask for the truth. And we’ve also talked about how seasonal rhythms of grace can help you to release that guilt and rest in God’s presence. Friend, if guilt is weighing you down, I want to encourage you, God never intended for you to carry it. He invites you to live free. And if you’d like practical next steps. Don’t forget to download The Fall Seasonal Rest Rhythm Audio Mini Series. It’s my gift to you and I believe it will help you breathe a little deeper. Rest a little more. And remember, you’re not alone. You can get that on the show notes page at www.aseasonofcaring.com/podcast or www.aseasonofcaring.com/fallrest

Rest. So let me leave you with this blessing from Jude 24. Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence, without faults, and with great joy, you are loved, forgiven, and free. Step into that freedom today and kick guilt to the curb. Thank you for joining me today for A Season of Caring Podcast where we share stories of hope to help us to live content, love well, and care without regrets.

If you have financial, medical, or legal questions, be sure to connect with your local professionals and take heart in your season of caring.

*Transcript is an actual recount of the live conversation